Goals and triumphs

Can you believe it – it’s the last day? Of my enormous assignment for myself, to do 101 challenges in 1001 days.

I feel a little bit giddy, to be honest.

Even though there are no bright lights and I have not (yet) sipped a single swig of champagne.

In fact, for all intents and purposes, it’s a normal day: the frost lies crisp and white upon the ground, the trees stand still in a windless sky, the computer softly buzzes while I write and simultaneously shovel copious amounts of chocolate into my mouth and the puppy and I argue over who is actually typing on the keyboard.

Ah, yes, the puppy… Our new family member… I’ll introduce you to her properly later.

There are no banners drooping in the still, crisp air; no party hats sitting on dandruff free hair (this is not an advertisement; but we do use Head and Shoulders); nor have there been any clinking glasses, well, unless you count the ones precariously balanced in the dishwasher this morning.

But worry not. For tonight I will celebrate on the last of our 33 date nights. I’ve already marked it off. I fear I may just celebrate a little too much to be allowed to be left in control of machinery and other potentially perilous objects.

So what am I celebrating, exactly?

The Highlights:

  • Becoming really good friends with Tilly Bud, The Laughing Housewife my partner in crime during the challenge.
  • The murder mystery dinner (we had such a lot of fun especially as I was picked out as having had an affair with the murderer, which led to me being, shockingly, pulled up to waltz with him, in front of an audience of over 100 people – all German people can waltz (except my husband, which is the main reason we fit together so perfectly – I can’t waltz either. I have an excuse though not being German), but not knowing I wasn’t an authentic German participant – I had to play an Italian – the poor unsuspecting bloke had no idea what he was in for i.e. severely trampled feet and a hysterically laughing dance partner (there were over 100 people watching)).
  • Making sure every single month – without fail – that Reini and I went on a date and made time for each other.
  • The Eurovision Party.
  • Watching 101 films. Watching films as a challenge means you can indulge yourself whenever you want and you don’t start to feel like a couch potato.
  • Writing the first draft of my first book in NaNoWriMo.
  • Trying new restaurants. I liked this challenge so much, I upped it from 10 in the first year to a total of 30 and I’m happy to say that I achieved this goal.
  • Going on a bonding trip with Lori to a spa!
  • Going to a wild west show – I really didn’t expect it to be so much fun and all of the kids really loved it too.
  • Going to Linderhof Castle – beautiful.
  • Taking Akasha to ballet. I only planned, originally, to give her a bash at it but as it turns out – she’s a proper full on little ballerina!
  • Planting bushes in the garden. I have actually managed to grow something. OK I have also managed to kill several things but I succeeded in growing a few bushes!!!! I suspect I have found attached to myself half a green thumb. It might not be exactly in the thumb position but who cares? It’s half a green thumb!!
  • On the theme of planting – finally I have a longed for pampas grass in the middle of the garden. In the spirit of honesty – the first one did die. But I soldiered on replanting. The second one is still alive, but we’re not through her first winter yet.
  • My 40th birthday party. I totally loved it. But I do admit, I did go a little bit mad in organizing it. What with fancy dress and preparing 1000s of canapés and an art area for the kids and stilts and space hoppers and  a trampoline and bubbles and a piñata and and and… And then a massive storm came and excited the Scottish visitors  and drowned and tore down both the marquee and the carefully arranged tables. Aden had a full meltdown because, apparently, I had promised in a true British optimistic, weather-woman spirit that, no, it would not rain, when questioned (without reading any meteorological charts or anything!) and in contrast it poured.
  • Resolving the pet question. We bought a puppy. A half-baked thing to do considering I’d not long had my third burnout. But she’s also been my salvation: going for walks, having cuddles, throwing a ball and then attempting to wrestle it back out of her mouth again. On top of that, she’s been an incredible asset for each of the kids for which I will be eternally grateful.
  • I finally found support for my family. I’ve saved the best until last haven’t I? Last month my son was granted a Sozialpädagoge. He’s highly trained to work with autistic and ADHD kids and comes to the house and takes Aden out, two afternoons a week, and undertakes different challenges with him on a one-on-one basis. At the moment he’s working on helping him concentrate and gain confidence through various activities like climbing, potholing, swimming, and geocaching. And the local council have offered to pay for this support for the next two years. Sensational!

I did not finish all of my challenges. I expected far too much of myself and I realized quite early on that my wish to complete the whole assignment was nowhere near attainable. But that was OK. The idea for me was to have goals to aim for. Considering my burnout and how long it’s taken me to recover I do feel that I’ve done quite well. Moreover, although it was added pressure, I also feel that the enterprise helped with my recovery because I had a huge selection of entertaining tasks that I had personally chosen, to focus on.

Saying that, there have also been a few ‘lowlights’.

The Lowlights:

  • I wanted to turn our office into an inspiring place to work (instead of a dumping ground) – I did so, I even put plants in there. The plants, of course, died and the office now looks worse than it did before. 😦
  • I didn’t write a letter to myself to be opened in 10 years. I wanted to do this around my 40th to open then on my 50th but around my 40th I was so busy hosting a Spanish student and going to choir concerts and ballet performances and doctors appointments and preparing 1000s of canapés and collecting egg boxes (for the art area of the party) and eating my way through shop bought puddings so I could reuse the little bowls they came in for my own canapés, that I just didn’t have time. I would have loved to have known what I would have said in that letter to myself.
  • Reading three German novels. I failed here appallingly.  I started one with my dictionary in hand and my translator husband lying next to me but he ended up snoring and I ended up dropping the dictionary and following him to slumberland. N.B. Not snoring: the official line is I don’t snore!
  • Losing control of the 101 list. I couldn’t seem to keep control of the numbers and the letters on my page. At times my list would merrily head towards 101, while at others it would stop counting at the end of one section and then restart at the start of the next from 1?!? Then at other times my list would utilize the letters of the alphabet abandoning any kind of numerical system whatsoever. At first, I was infuriated and spent hours – OK – minutes trying to fix it and shaking a frustrated fist at the screen and yelling at my page, comments like; “Why are you doing this to me?” and “Who gave this computer free will?” Then my husband pointed out that actually, I’m just completely untalented when it comes to dealing with html.
  • Learning how to make a photobook. I attempted this challenge sometime after we returned from France. I thought it would be lovely to have our favourite French photos compiled into a book that could be kept  to be poured through by grandchildren and great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren. After quite a struggle (remember my html experience) I managed to effectively put a photobook together online. I wanted to order it and then I saw the price of the masterpiece I had created, had a small fit and then decided to opt for a different company and a less glossy keepsake. I deleted the file, as you do, and rushed off to pick up a small person from somewhere. Then my husband accidentally destroyed the contents of our computer including addresses, kept emails, MY BOOK (luckily I had gone against his wishes and printed the whole thing off), important work he had done and our photos which hadn’t yet been backed up. Oops!
  • Archery. For some reason I had a romantic notion in my head of taking a bow and pointing an arrow and releasing it off into the atmosphere… It would spin and twirl and then land itself on the exact, precise, on the nose particle that I had, a few mere seconds before, deciphered. What actually happened was: the arrow dropped to my feet, I had trouble ‘springing’ the arrow, the arrow couldn’t even find the haystack and the kids then hit every single target. I have discovered I have a deep dislike for archery. I felt like I did that time at school when I accidentally threw the discus into my screaming team mates or those days I could not throw the javelin any further than a meter. Or those endless lessons when I spent the whole double period trying to just hit the damned shuttlecock with the badminton racket – I’d drop the shuttlecock down towards the racket which was placed directly underneath the-said-cock and then I’d hit up the way and I’d miss every single time. I scratched my head quite a lot in those days (but I’m fairly sure that’s not the reason I buy Head and Shoulders in bulk every time I see it on special offer).

So, the gist of the story is: I’ve really, really, really enjoyed the challenge. I’m a little bit sad that it’s over but on the other hand I’m extremely pleased that despite being ill, I’ve continued to plod on through.

Today is no exception, I’m planning to finish off my Freerice challenge: I’ve donated 84,680 grains of rice so far and I’m hoping to reach 100,000 by the end of the day. I’ll have click-ache!! Plus I’m off out with Reini for the last of our 33 scheduled ‘date nights’.

A lot can happen in 1001 days and some of the goals lose their appeal or their importance as life evolves. But there are a few tasks from my list that I would very much still like to do:

The New List?:

      • Make soap with the kids (I’ve even bought the ingredients but the kids are rarely all here at the same time).
      • Try belly dancing (I need to get fit first).
      • Take a pottery course (hopefully my pot won’t slide to the ground like my arrow did 😉 ).
      • Publish my book (I need to edit it first!).
      • Write a children’s story.
      • Cook a goose (my foodie section was my most successful section but I didn’t manage this one, I am a bit intimidated about cooking a goose properly, especially because I have no idea how it’s supposed to taste).
      • Go to Insel Mainau.
      • Go to Herrenchiemsee.
      • Go to Poland (this year we went to Hungary instead but I would love to do a city break in Poland).
      • Do car boot sales with the kids.
      • Write up my recipes.
      • Floating (I have vouchers now – I just haven’t been able to ‘fit it in’).
      • And put up that picture frame – why have I not done this? I do admit I did have pictures printed off at one point, but in the wrong size, deary me).

Thank you so much for all of your support. Luckily I’d also gone against my husband’s wishes and periodically uploaded photos to Facebook so here are a few visual reminders of the last 1001 days/143 weeks/33 months. Enjoy!

Gee Thanks!

Some days I think I’ve lost my sense of humour. But then I have an adorable thirteen-year-old who says things like, “Mum, are you sure you don’t want to lie down after this – you look really crappy!”

And then I remember how to laugh.

And how to shake my head.

And how to cry.

I still have the damn headache!

My five-year-old, informed me in her matter-of-fact way that she thinks, “It likes me.”

You may well imagine, that that did not make me feel any better.

What has made me feel a lot better though, are all your lovely comments and emails. Thank you so much. You stopped me feeling sorry for myself, well, for a few minutes anyway, and encouraged me to think positively, which can only be described as a good thing.

A lot of you have been asking, so I thought I’d give you a quick update. Yes, I still have a headache, it’s been over five weeks now. Groan. Groan. I’ve been back and forth to the doctors and am now trying acupuncture, which I think is helping, slowly. But as it’s been so long, I’m off to see a neurologist on Wednesday. Hopefully he’ll tell me my brain is still intact and can figure out a way to get rid of the pain.

I would so like to spend Christmas ungrumpy!!

Squeezing it all in

“Mama, guess what I’m thinking, it starts with pffff… pffff… pffff…!”

Is how my week began.

“Fish? Flipper? Fin? Frog?”

Sat on the loo, surrounded by water, I took some inspiration.

Solemn head shakes proved my inabilities as a mind reader.

I thought further afield.

“Fun? Fire? Feather? Film?”

To more shakes.

After a few more desperate attempts including, “Feet?” and “Fly?” I gave up.


It really set the pointer for the week. Indeed, it describes my life. I live in a state of constant confusion.

In my disorganised over-stretched totally bloody knackered flustered condition, I have failed miserably and am therefore bringing you my 101 challenges update two whole weeks late.

I’m sure you’ll forgive me when you learn I have actually achieved quite a lot. Especially considering my current somewhat overwrought status. (But then again I have used up four full weeks instead of two?!?)

I’ve been marching on with the film challenge. I’ve watched True Grit (a thumbs up for that one), Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (who can’t resist a bit of Johnny Depp?), Igor (fortunately, I slept through the middle bit, but I’m still counting it, after putting up with the torment, yes, it’s that bad), Treasure of Silver Lake (1962) and Winnetou 1. You’re probably thinking what? with the last two. They’re old German westerns and inspired by the fact that we took the kids to a live wild west show (that and my husband sees this challenge as a way to relive his childhood).

I’ve also been to three new restaurants, one as a date-night with a friend and the other two as stop offs to just-eat-something, while running backwards on this old merry-go-round I call life.

I’ve fitted in guinea-pigging my family with four fatifying new recipes including: banana muffins and cheats raspberry ice cream (from my new ‘Give yourself a heart attack’ recipe book).

And talking of food, I’ve landed myself another new challenge. Preparing a healthy playtime snack one Friday at Aden’s school. When asked yesterday at the parents meeting, I put my hand up, offering my help. “I could knock up a few simple muesli bars…” I looked around at all the other heads-and-hands-pointing-firmly-downwards parents, a little taken aback at their unwillingness to assist. All became clear when the teacher enthusiastically oohed and aahed and signed me up with my own blood to provide a healthy snack on my own for, oh, about 100 people. Gulp.

(None of those other mothers showed me the slightest bit of sympathy. They more looked at me with that death-stare expression: ‘you baked your own bed’…)

Excitingly, I also found someone I have not yet eaten sushi with. So ecstatic was I, I dragged the poor woman out of her house that very evening (no chance to back out on me ;-)). We had a delightful time and I think she’s now a convert.

I’ve also squeezed in going to the pool once and the gym twice. I am officially a gym failure. I suspect Michael, the gym master, hates me now.

Fantastically, we have a few new 101ers. Some are typing up their lists as you read this. Others are still to be *officially* added (by me anyway).

But please give a warm welcome to these two newcomers:


One of my challenges is to achieve 50,000 hits on my blog. Now it’s a ridiculous pipedream very tall order but this week the figure loomed rather nearer. I still can’t believe it but this post received a whopping 566 hits. I have had face ache all week, I can tell you.

Thank you!!

Stylish blogger

A while ago, I received a “Stylish Blogger Award” from Every day I see a cow. I rejoiced. A lot. Then procrastinated. A lot. Because receiving the award dictates I should tell my readers 10 things they don’t know about me. And then to pass on the award to some other bloggers.

I discovered that I am probably reading too many blogs and that I have too many stories to tell. When I checked out other winners, I discovered they wrote things like: I like chips. A lot. Or my favourite colour is black. (If you know me, then you already know my favourite colour is black, so I thought I wouldn’t put that one in).

I reread through, what I had written and then I discovered that I’m a proper chatterbox.

So I hummed and hawed in significant quantities. More than necessary, to be honest.

And I came up with this:

1. I am honest. As in, I can’t lie very well, and I have one of those faces that just ‘gives me away’, besides, when I did get away with a lie, I felt so guilty, it led to the realisation that it just wasn’t worth it.

2. I am the most clumsy person on the earth. If you know me personally, you will actually know that. But have I told you that I fell during every single one of my four pregnancies?

It all started with Joni. I fell while running after a bus.

Then during Lori’s pregnancy, I tripped over, walking up a small hill (going on a picnic) and tore a ligament in my foot thus requiring crutches (not to be recommended, a clumsy woman, swinging around on crutches from the sixth month of pregnancy, the weight distribution is all wrong).

While pregnant with Aden, I can hardly bear to admit this, I fell over the safety gate (no, it wasn’t at the top of the stairs – luckily). But during the fall, I also managed to embed the kitchen door handle in my knee. Despite never having done gymnastics, I do have an uncanny knack of getting myself into weird positions.

Lastly with Akasha, I fell down the stairs and broke my tailbone, then had to stay seated/lay down for the following three months because, having been shuggled around she thought she would pop out too early. Not to be advised, sitting around for three months on a broken tailbone.

My clumsiness has also led me to:

  • Falling up a small hill (after tripping over my own foot) and dislocating my arm
  • Crashing into lampposts whilst out walking dogs
  • Falling over the fork on a fork lift truck (and therefore having a 2 year-long leg injury)
  • Giving my son a massive nose bleed after bumping his head on the roof of the car
  •  Frightening passersby half to death as I overturned the pram while wrestling it down the steps of the house (luckily, no baby was actually in the pram).

I am scarred and battered and bruised at all times.

3. I am very lucky. Not in the way that I win the lottery or other valuable prizes. No. But you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say, as the dinner guests arrived, I dropped my only six plates on the floor but not one of them broke (to everyone’s astonishment). That kind of lucky. My mother used to say that I’d fall in a pile of shit and still come out smelling of roses. But I prefer the plate analogy.

4. I once arranged a kissogram to come to school and ‘surprise’ a friend for her birthday. I think it was her 17th. I had to get permission from the headmaster before it could go ahead, (no idea how I swung that one, only guess is no. 3) and raise the cash, which I did by encouraging other friends to dig deep. The result was that everyone in the whole school knew, except my friend. She had absolutely no idea. Even though kids abandoned classrooms before the frog prince arrived, and the teachers lost control of the school. Again, I think that this was down to luck on my part and not my abilities in deception.

5. I am untidy. I mean I walk past the coat hook and my jacket sort of, naturally lands on the chair. I place my keys on the first surface they come across, then promptly forget where. And it drives my very tidy husband mad. But I do keep trying to avoid my natural instinct in an effort to be more organised and to keep my marriage on track. (My marriage seems to be on track, but my husband may argue, that I don’t fight my instincts quite enough).

6. I obsessively wash my hands. I sweep the floor then wash my hands. I wash my hands after I touch every ingredient that I chop or handle. Not just raw meat or fish or smelly things like garlic or messy things like eggs. I look at the bin and I wash my hands. I don’t mind getting my hands dirty,  just so long as there’s a sink within a hop, skip and a  jump away, so I can wash my hands immediately.

I do a few other obsessive things too, like always use the same toilet if I need to ‘go’ more than once in a restaurant. And in the toilet, I will correct the toilet roll so it faces the right way.I straighten pictures, even in the homes of others, which doesn’t fit well with number 1 as I have been known to knock pictures down from the wall. I lock the car two or three times. I think this is because I’m actually afraid I forgot to lock the car. And I feel the need to always recheck I have my keys. I even feel the compulsion to make my friends check that they have their keys when we leave their home, which makes them look at me oddly and makes me apologise a lot.

7. I have a lot of friends. I’m not sure how this happened considering number 6, but I do. My mother used to tell me that if a person had one or two good friends in life, then they would be very lucky. I’ve already told you that I’m a very lucky person. I have extremely deep feelings for my friends and often find myself feeling emotional because of their many kind acts.

8. I am jealous. Not of what other people have. But if someone approaches my man, my claws come out. I’ve mentioned on this blog before that I’m terribly forgetful. Let me tell you, that being forgetful and jealous, is not a good combination.

For example: A few weeks ago I found a girl’s name and telephone number on the to do list on my husbands mobile phone. My heart started to race and my palms turned sweaty as I tried to nonchalantly ask, “Who’s that?” I couldn’t remember the damn name of his secretary, so when he turned the question back on me, I suggested “Your secretary?” Now, considering he’s had the same secretary for the seven years we’ve been here, that didn’t go down too well. Especially tied together with the realised accusation in the first place. He told me to guess again. After some amount of torture time he told me it’s that babysitter that he saw advertised and may be suitable for us (older, qualified and will take on four kids (most won’t)). Then I started to feel much worse as he pointed out that we’ve actually been through this whole jealous outburst, over exactly the same name on the same to-do list before. Ouch.

It’s probably about time we purchased non-identical phones!

9. I was a vegetarian for 16 years. Now I’m a ‘meater’. I eat meat meat meat all of the time and my husband finds this hysterical. He watches me tucking into a steak and shakes his head, and laughs and says, “You vegetarian!” He would love to take the credit for ‘turning me’ (we’d met just a few months before the big change) but he can’t. Credit goes to boredom and a fish supper. Followed closely by a bacon sandwich.

10. I’m a comedy freak. I love comedy in every form, be it film, sitcom, stand up or books. I love to laugh. As a child I became convinced that my life could be rewritten as a Carry On film. Not the rude bits. I didn’t get them. But the constant falling over, bumping into things, knocking things down and general embarrassing moments. Everything filmed in the form of Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em and in the background that Barbara Windsor laugh.

I feel a bit better about the awarding part. Because this very morning I received a Versatile Blogger award from Patti meaning I can separate my awards out into two different categories.

My Stylish Blogger Awards go to:

Northern Mummy with Southern Children: a mummy blogger with a great sense of humour and a fantastic tale-telling ability.

4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle: an Australian mummy blogger writing entertaining and thought-provoking articles, from her present home in the Middle East.

Flufflepot: a stunning artist/storyteller. My kids love her too.

Mummy Mayhem: A popular and inspirational blogger, who despite her own success, still makes time to help out little bloggers, like me.

Words and Pictures: a Scottish writer, full of heart. She’ll move you, make you laugh and entertain you with lovely little snippets of conversation with her mum who is suffering from dementia. She’ll also recommend you a good book or two.

No stranger to awards: Read Between The Minds is the place to visit if you want to read some thought-provoking poetry.

M a K A Personal Diary This blog is an incredible and inspiring story of an 18-year-old young man from Luxembourg, and his travels. First to Spain and then on to El Salvador teaching children from impoverished backgrounds English and IT. It’s a must read, from start to finish!

Coming up soon – My Versatile Blogger Awards!! 😀

The more I understand, the more I can make things change

Today something amazing has happened.

My 12 year-old-daughter, Lori, had an accident on her bike this morning. She had been cycling along, quite normally, then noticed something odd about her bicycle. At some point, the bike ‘gave up’ and off she fell.

She had been cycling next to her sister, and luckily had not taken the roadside of the path. So her fall ended in her landing in a nice soft field, and not in front of a speeding car, on a busy main road.

Although I will be eternally grateful that my daughter did not find herself under the wheels of a car, and that her head although bumped, was safely protected by a helmet, that’s not what I want to talk about here today.

Instead I want to talk about what happened later on.

After a call from my other daughter, I dressed and left to check Lori over and then took her to school, leaving my husband to scrutinise what exactly had happened on the only one-year-old bike.

On my return, I was shocked to learn that someone had actually sabotaged my daughters bike and caused her accident.

There can be no other explanation, my husband revealed. None at all. Someone’s turned a screw, on purpose, and damaged the gears.

Turned a screw…

Now, there’s one particular person in this house who has a thing for screws. Unscrewing screws to be precise. Unscrewing doors. Toilet seats. Desks. Actually, unscrewing anything that contains a screw.

But I try not to heap blame out and so I approached the girls on their return from school and quizzed them to see if there could be any possible way that one of them, perhaps on trying to mend something on the bike, could have possibly turned a screw and set the whole bike off kilter. No, they exclaimed wide-eyed and stunned.

I still kept my cool and thought of other possible explanations, but inevitably at dinner time, all sitting together, I had to ask my son.

Calmly I put the question to him, and he lied, of course.

I’m used to the lie before the truth. And there can be no punishment for the lie. I have learned that. The lie is a knee-jerk, impulsive, protective reaction and the truth must be sought.

The truth must be asked for in a calm voice, and my son must be convinced that my motive for the truth is a means to an end and will result in no punishment, just a calm description of why the act that took place, should not happen again.

Everyone at the table remained calm.

There was no shouting.

No crying.

No hitting of heads on the table.

Just an admittance of guilt. That and an excuse. Then an apology with an outstretched hand and a promise not to mess with bicycle screws again.

And even more amazing. A twelve-year-old girl, who calmly took that outstretched hand, and just answered, quietly, that he should not do it again. Apology accepted. Despite the fall. The shock. The bump to the head. No tears. No screaming. No shouting. No, “I hate you!”

No, “Why can’t I just have a normal brother?”

Just calm.

And I finally thought, just maybe, we’re starting to ‘get’ him.


Today is a very special day for me. My blog is a whole one year old (feel free to shout out and sing, Hip Hip Hooray’s).

As part of the celebrations, from today I am starting a fantastic and exciting new project with the lovely Tilly Bud over at The Laughing Housewife entitled 101 in 1001. Whereby both Tilly and I will try to complete 101 of our own challenges in 1001 days.

Considering some of the tasks I’ve set myself, I have no idea when I’m going to have time to sleep, so it may be that as of tomorrow, all you’ll read on here is a load of old gibberish. 😉

Feel free to check in on my progress at any time by clicking on the tab above labelled ‘101 in 1001’.

The last blog year has been a mass of ups and… actually I’m still waiting for the downs!! So as you might imagine, especially if you know me personally, or if you’ve read more than one post on here (and if you haven’t: run along now and click your way through) that I’ve spent most of my year showing my children my excited face. Being children, they have, of course, learned to mirror it. So on that note, I hope that the next blog year goes as well (or even better) – not for me you understand, but for the children ;-). We don’t want them going around looking all maudlin. Do we now?

Reveal All

Sarsm’s Blog has been around for almost a year now. My “Quest for humour in my existence” has been so satisfying that I have decided to march forth and continue, hopefully onwards and upwards.

25.03.2011 is my first blog birthday. It’s exciting. Dramatic. I am thinking of purchasing some prosecco. Just for the hell of it. Feel free to join me in raising a glass. The 25th, is luckily for us, not a school night. Phew!

Before the ‘big day’ though, I thought I’d take a look back over the year.

Inspired by some of my peers and quite honestly surprised (and naturally delighted) by some of the searches that found me, I thought I’d start off by doing ‘a reveal’.

Search terms, relevant and otherwise:

  • http://www.sarsm.wordpress.com (fair enough)
  • sarah papa bear blog (OK)
  • sarsm radio (hmm??)
  • hot six (ah that poem)
  • hot hot six
  • hot hot hot six (popular search, dear people, I suspect also a popular typo)
  • hot six for 17 years (so long?)
  • hot six love
  • hot six family (???)
  • santa came to night
  • gym humor blog (aw shucks)
  • gymslips blogspot
  • my muscle men
  • blog very muscled men (think this visitor may have been rather disappointed)
  • dear somebody
  • “partied out”
  • “e numbers”
  • funny christmas party poems and stories
  • funny christmas poems chick lit
  • professional invitation for discussion (nice!)
  • reason for my existence no children 😯
  • embarrass yourself bladder
  • “running water” pee
  • escalator on trolley prohibited (???)
  • greeting card “misread signs”
  • wake up sleepy head love poems my love
  • funny poem about breakfast (I ate a lot of breakfasts, but did I write about them?)

And it would seem my blog is a source of expertise, medical and otherwise:

  • adhd parenting blogs
  • my adhd son
  • is ritalin a strong medicine?
  • ritalin and parents
  • ritalin hitting head
  • ritalin tics
  • crinkled toes
  • how to embarrass yourself for school (what?)
  • muscle men 2011 😀
  • autism teachers blog
  • new oven blog cooking
  • ultimate question

And don’t forget on the theme of my expertise:

  • hot six for 17 years

But my favourite poor, misled, searcher requested:

  • making hand torn envelopes blog

I hope my Reveal All post shows that my quest has thrown up some unexpected opportunities for humour in my existence.

Thank you!!

Give thanks

It’s time to give thanks to Otto Wichterle.

Who? I hear most of you say.

(He’s the Czech chemist who invented contact lenses. Although, the multi-talented Leonardo da Vinci should be credited for the initial idea.)

Not because without those amazing inventors, I would just wander around my house bumping into blurry furniture. No. Glasses would shield me from such a fate.

But because without contact lenses I would be doing regular impressions of Papa Bear. Either that or physically appearing like the victim of a razor attack.

You see, my glasses help me to see. They deliver me safely across the road. They ensure the knife slices the onion instead of the finger, well, most of the time. They allow me to appreciate the faces of my generally happy children.

But they steam up when I come in from the cold.

Or open the oven door.

And I cannot wear them when having a shower or a bath.

Without Mr Wichterle my world would consist of unutterable measures of self-harm. Blood splattered bathrooms.

And no sex.

After all, what husband is motivated by a constantly injured, blood stained wife or, worse still, an actual werewolf in his bed?