Tick tock says the clock but will there be a beep?

It is 2am! And there’s been a disaster! A calamity!

Sorry. I’ve swallowed a Mr Man book  been reading Mr Men books with my youngest students. Which 30, God no… 40 years on… seem rather more inappropriate. Though, just like me all those years ago, my students adore them.

But I digress.

It started off like this:

My husband abandoned me in the living room.

OK. OK. He left me  watching TV on the sofa. Where I started to nod, then drift… And the next thing I knew, I shot, bolt upright, only to discover that I was splattered with my own dribble.

I staggered through the living room, into the kitchen and desperately tried to remember exactly which medicine I should take and in which order. And not to take any of those correct medicines twice. Or even thrice. And not to take anyone else’s medicines by mistake. After all these years on the planet, I am finally getting used to myself and my own funny ways. I staggered and I blinked and I filled a glass with water. But in the time between the glass moving from the tap to my lips, a suicidal fruit fly had nose-dived into my water and appeared to be drowning.

I blinked a lot more. Yes. It was definitely a fruit fly. So, I calmly emptied the glass, rinsed and repeated. This time, luckily, without the invasion.

I wrote  a quick note for my son, said goodnight to a 20-something, fed the bewildered dog and pottered upstairs to the bathroom where I got into an argument with my own pubic hair. Don’t ask. It was all a bit icky.

Then I tried to find my bed in the dark.

I’ve eaten thousands and thousands of carrots in my lifetime. But they have done me absolutely no good. I have basically no night vision. Normally, I repeatedly switch my Fitbit on in an attempt to shine a light on the whereabouts of my bed (which helps somewhat, although I still stand on or walk into various items in the room, just less regularly. But that’s not so bad any more as my clever husband now wears earplugs to bed and so is rarely disturbed by my frequent shrieking/swearing/banging). But I had accidentally left my Fitbit charging in the car…

I clambered into bed and slapped around my bedside table in my nightly ‘alarm clock search’ routine. As usual, I knocked over the clock then picked it up again and pressed the snooze button down to see the time setting. Due to my acute night vision deficiency this is a repeated action. Without it, I can’t see the buttons or the changing numbers.  I altered my wake up time and I wanted to double-check I’d got it right. I’m a double-check kind of person. The simple fact is that I don’t trust my own brain.

I pushed on the snooze button and the snooze button stayed pushed. As in, it didn’t pop back up.

I pushed and I pushed and then, in desperation I attempted several pulls, with varying techniques. I even put the actual bedside light on to help me with my situation. But to no avail. The pushed button remained disconcertingly pushed.

Would the light remain on?

Would the battery wear out?

Would the alarm go off or would it believe, that in that very moment, when it had intended to beep, that I could possibly have simultaneously hit its snooze button?

And if that should be the case, would it live in some kind of limbo? Convinced that my finger hovered over its button?

Black Friday over by just a mere two hours and I had managed to incapacitate my alarm clock.

I looked over at my Mr Fix-It. Sleeping soundly. I didn’t dare to wake him with my conundrum.

Especially as he’d reminded me, before he went to bed, that I had woken him up at some ungodly hour, excitedly showing him a few early Black Friday deals.

Will I wake on time in the morning?

Should I brave the minus temperatures in my nightshirt and rescue my Fitbit from the car?

Will I ever get back to sleep?

Such a misfortune! What a calamity! A bloody disaster!




16 Replies to “Tick tock says the clock but will there be a beep?”

  1. I really do miss you when you don’t post for awhile. You are so hysterically funny and what you write is so true for so many people…including myself. But I can’t seem to write it down. I can say it as an after thought as “you will never believe what happened”, but to write it….you, have a gift to translate it as though I am right there. But nonetheless, I have your write and will have a much better night here because of it. I do hope you are well and look forward to reading here again. Take care. 🙂

    1. Thank you so much!!!
      It’s quite difficult doing a comeback, once I’ve been away for some time. I start many posts in between and never finish them because I’m not happy with them. Then I feel sad because I’m not writing! So your comment means so much tom me – thank you! I woke up at 8.30 this morning (YES!!!!!!!! On time!!!!!!!!) and your comment has set me up with a good start to the day!
      I am well. Well, as well as can be expected! I am very busy, not only with my own four (whole) children, several of whom are now adults, but also with several that I’m teaching as I am a private tutor.
      But I miss writing a lot. I think I just need it to keep my soul truly happy, or as my own personal therapy or something!!
      I hope that you are well!!

  2. Interesting story. Grappling with an alarm clock is a challenge many of us have endured! I hate it when I fall asleep in the tv chair and then wake up suddenly to wonder where I am and whether it is night or day. It must be akin to what time travel is like.

    Good to hear from you again!

  3. Hello! I have been wondering how things were in your corner of the world. It is good to hear from you again. And, glad to hear from reading the comments that your alarm clock situation did not cause new morning drama!

    Hugs! Janie

    1. I am struggling with this newfangled WordPress! I didn’t notice that there were more comments?!?
      Yes, I woke up and once Mr Fix-It awoke, he fixed it, in like, two minutes!!!
      I hope that things are going well for you!

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