Postponed post results in wonky weight of weird woman?

I could tell you that everything is running swimmingly at the moment. But I’d be lying to you.

I could tell you that beyond the odd hiccup or two, all is well in my world.

But I’d be leading you straight up, a very wonky, garden path.

I could tell you that my son’s voice is not breaking. That my house is bright, clean and sparkly. That my washroom does not have the nickname ‘The Alps’. I could even say that I didn’t just get lost trying to find the hall where my daughter is doing her ballet rehearsal for her show tomorrow night.

But I’d be telling porkies.

Instead, it would be truthful to say, that it was the very same hall she did a different show in last year. The very same hall I’ve walked past with the dog. The one that’s quite big and has a car park and is, once found, relatively easy to find.

I can also tell you that I had to ask a postman for directions and that he had no clue either. But to be fair, the post-people have only just returned after a lengthy strike. And it could well be that they hired some new post-people to catch up with the enormous mountain of mail that the people at the post office were talking about this morning. I was there. Picking up a parcel. Not sending anything. I’m still too afraid to. I have images in my head of my delayed birthday presents and my postponed get well soon cards being distinctly smaller and more loseable than a needle in a haystack.

I am particularly perturbed by the loseable image now. Seeing that the postman I met didn’t seem to know his dance halls.

I could tell you my bathroom scales are broken. After all, it’s what I told my husband until I suddenly discovered I could no longer fit in pretty much any of my summer clothes. Without forcing them and hearing tiny ripping sounds, that is. At first, I assumed the washing machine must be on the blink as there seemed to have been some shrinkage.

I could tell you that I didn’t just console myself with ice cream. And that I am not presently eyeing up a Wholenut.

Sorry, that I have not just eaten the said Wholenut.

But I’d be bare-faced lying.






12 thoughts on “Postponed post results in wonky weight of weird woman?”

  1. I love this one…not like I don’t love them all, as I do. My brother who lives in New Zealand uses the same words as “wonky” and “porkies” and I love them. I’ve taken to using “wonky” myself. We have the same issue with the mail delivery. You never know if you will get mail, if you will get someone elses’ or if you will get theirs’. I needed a laugh today so again came here. (So good) I have my house on the market as since I had open heart surgery and retired it is too much to handle but just the selling of it may be too much. 🙂

    1. I hope that you are recovering well from your surgery. And that your house sale goes well and isn’t too stressful. I’m very glad I could make you laugh!!
      Wonky is a great word!!!!! (And very apt in my life 😉 )
      I had no idea how much I relied on the mail until now.
      A neighbour of ours has a lot of parcels delivered – I think maybe they run a company? Anyway, one delivery woman that comes refuses point blank to deliver to them because they have a big dog. So she always asks us to deliver the parcels for her. She says the dog is aggressive – I explained to her that I don’t fancy delivering parcels to a danger zone either, especially when it’s not my job!! Anyway, the neighbours (who live quite far down the street) tell me their dog is not at all aggressive. They are very embarrassed about the delivery woman’s behaviour and have even given us a bottle of wine or sweets for the kids on occasion.

  2. For once we don’t have a postal strike but we still don’t get our mail.
    Our complex is at the very end of a long road.
    I think the postman only bothers to come here every three or four weeks!

    1. Oh my goodness! That’s terrible. I had no idea how much we relied on the post until the strike. I’m so glad they’re back now. And the dog gave the postwoman the warmest welcome ever!!

  3. But there’s nothing more interesting than a wonky path to walk along, Sarah! My washing machine’s on the blink too, if it helps, with its shrink settings… fun post, and I hope you have an easy hour or so thrown into your mix every now and then! 🙂

    1. You are, of course, right!! It is never boring anyway!!
      You should have seen me this morning trying to pour myself into a pair of once baggy shorts. It reminded of days gone by when I wore those skin tight STRETCH skinny jeans. Except they are shorts. And not stretchy in the slightest!! 🙂

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