An official apology to Dan the Man


Dearest, dearest Dan the Man
please forgive me
if you can!
I do beseech you
I had a plan:

I went shopping
some time ago
not alone, you understand
along with Aden
my own young man.
We searched and searched
through shelves and rows
for a fitting gift
that’d curl your toes!

Aden advised me
I think, quite well,
of what young men
find pretty swell…

I filled my basket
with goodies for you
and one or two
for your big brother too.

I thought I had it cracked
this birthday present lark
I laughed with the assistant
as I handed over my precious debit card.

Then I realised!
That between your birthday
and that of your sister
there’s only three weeks:
hardly enough time
to learn a new tongue twister!

So, I thought of the pennies
as well as the pounds
(it’s so important
that there’s enough
of that lovely money
to go around).

I’d share the postage
between you three
and I whistled to the birds
some strange
(tone deaf)
whistled-y-tweet-da-tweet?!?

Now I hear from your Mum
that your birthday is today!!!
I haven’t sent your long-ago-bought-present
and you live so far away!!!

I had the date in my head
and then, somehow, I forgot
(perhaps because I’m old?
Or ’cause my head is full of snot?)

So your present
it is here
and you are there
where I am not!
Your gift
so early bought
is clearly late!
So past the date!
I’m such a clot!

But I think
that you will laugh
once you know
the reason
why:

You see,
I waited all this time
because
despite
knowing
when your birthday
actually is
I believed it was
in fact,
on a much
later date!

And the cherry on the cake?
I still needed to buy your lovely sister’s
present
or so I thought
although in truth
I had it already
sitting in a bag
right next to my bed
in which I climb
in
and
out
of
every… Single… Day!

And can you believe it?
In that bag
I also found
that absent glue;
the one I knew
that I’d bought
but had been missing
for a month or two….!

P.S.
I was going
to finish here
my dear.
But do you know
what happened next?
Go on
I’ll give you a moment,
have a guess…

I wrapped your pressies
all of them
and placed them
in a cardboard box.
I drove to the post office,
in the town
and parked my car
in a good spot.
And then I rummaged
all around.
I shook my head.
I beeped the horn.
I swore, somewhat.

Dearest, dearest Dan the Man,
I’d left your box
Upon my table
Oh super-silly-Sarah-smelly-socks!

Happy Birthday Dan!!! Your pressie is finally on it’s way!!!🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

12 thoughts on “An official apology to Dan the Man”

  1. We see her here, we see her there we see her almost every where. Is she in heaven, is she in hell? That damned elusive Sarah who means well?

    Thanks for stopping by with some advice today. I am always happy to learn you are out and about.

      1. I’m on quite good medication at the moment. IBS is not nice. And a lot of doctors don’t take it seriously. I hope your sister has a good doctor who is helping her with her symptoms.

  2. Umm, whoops? The funniest stories are always true. If it were my faux pas though, I would have spinned it as prolonging the birthday joy experience….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s