A one woman disaster zone

I had an accident at the weekend and I’d love to tell you what happened, but I can’t.

I can’t tell the doctors either.

It’s not that I was knocked unconscious.

It’s not that I was drunk and had a black out.

It’s just that I don’t know.

I worked steadfastly in the kitchen most of the day, cooking a special dinner for the men working outside in our garden.

I’ll just go over that point.

The manly ones spent around eight to ten hours slogging away outdoors, while I chopped and stirred and whizzed and peeled and ran backwards and forwards to the fridge (and to the shops for that matter, for forgotten ingredients). Then I went outside and planted in my newly built wall, for the best part of an hour, while the strongly ones rubbed their tummies and slugged on their beer.

In those eight to ten hours not one of the three gentlemen were injured.

Not one of the two children, running up and down the length of the garden with wheelbarrows and shoveling dirt, were blemished.

But in that one hour, something happened to me.

But I can’t tell you what.

Because I don’t know what.

I didn’t notice anything happening to me, that’s the problem.

I planted and I looked at my new wall and I felt good.

When I later went to bed, I had problems sleeping.

I arose in the morning and my heels itched like crazy and I noticed a couple of little marks. I decided that I must have been bitten by some evil creature – so I plastered it in anti-histamine gel.

But the swelling increased and it started to hurt.

My husband offered to call me a doctor. I (am trying to avoid doctors, seriously I’ve already over fifteen appointments, between the kids and I,  this month, so far) declined but took up his suggestion of reducing the inflammation with some raw onion.

The onion tried it’s best but failed. So I ran myself a nice lavender bath.

I rested my feet a bit and worked on a project for a while. Later on, as I tried to stand up the pain was immense. I stared at my feet and one ankle, frankly, looked as if someone had shoved a hard-boiled egg under the skin. I felt some concern and my husband appeared notably worried, but I waved off his doctor ideas and decided we should pop out for a bite to eat instead. (As all sensible people do when their ankle is drooping down towards the floor).

I headed towards the car but had to stop for a little rest. Feeling very sick from the pain, I started to entertain my husband’s ‘visit the doctor’ plan. I braved the two-minute drive to the restaurant then looked at my foot, which had miraculously grown again and finally, I admitted defeat.

The doctor saw me right away. She prodded and poked and inspected the now extremely red and bulging area.

“There’s something in it!” She proclaimed.

At first, she believed it to be ticks, but thank goodness, that was not the case.

In a few short minutes she’d managed to remove five foreign bodies from my heels. Two from one and three from the other.

I had no idea what they were or where they came from.

She bandaged me up and sent me to the chemist for antibiotics.

It’s healing well (I know because I’ve been backwards and forwards to my GP continually to have it checked out) but I’ll be bandaged up until Sunday.

I now look like a different type of mummy!

But I implore you:

How is it possible to embed five foreign bodies in one’s foot, while throwing a bit of earth in a pot and ramming in a few tiny plants? I didn’t use my heels as spades. I didn’t hammer the ground flat with the back of my foot. I didn’t roll around the grass and I didn’t go near any bushes. I had trainers and socks on. I used my hands.


Still, at least none of the men turned into mummies.

And:  I got to postpone my lady doctor appointment. 😉


43 thoughts on “A one woman disaster zone”

    1. Thank you. They are definitely on the mend but I have to keep them up a lot of the time in case the infection spreads. Still, it gives me some time to blog again!!

  1. Icky! Does no-one know what they are? This is a little bit (cue twilight zone music) odd, maybe aliens visited you in your sleep, or possessed you while you gardened. Ironic actually that you posted today, I was only thinking about you tonight after I wrote my latest post and then there was your post (you must have got my thought message) – amazing coincidence.
    Hope you’re feeling better real soon, Cheers, Fi

      1. LOL

        Yes. I think a poll sounds like a fine idea. Although it would help to solve this mystery if we knew what kind of foreign objects were extracted. Animal? Vegetable? Mineral?

      2. Doesn’t it?

        OK I have, truthfully no idea. The doctor at frist thought animal, as in the ticks, then questioned my proximity to bushes – vegetable? I couldn’t actually see because it was behind me of course. But I can tell you it was very small and black and NOT pointy.

      3. The split personality could also offer a reason for my tiredness and me keep losing things too!

        Aliens probes? Yuck!!!

    1. Thank you once again. I have started working on it. That’s partly why I’ve been blogging less. Thank you so much for your encouragement, I’ve realised I have a long road ahead of me and I need the encouragement!!

      I will take care. My husband has stapled me to the sofa… 😉

    1. I am too. I had to take the antibiotic asap because of the risk of lymph node infection and blood poisoning. I’m feeling, much better now – thank you!

  2. Did the doc send the ‘bits’ to the lab for microscopy? I feel it may be important to find out what it was as you had such a reaction to what ever it was. It was odd they were not sharp.

    1. No she chucked them!! Testing would cos money and I suspect the health service wouldn’t be keen on that. Plus she wasn’t my regular doctor so I guess she wouldn’t be too interested. Really odd they weren’t sharp. She made a specific point of telling us that. How could I have not felt them go in?

      1. What???? I would have insisted on sending those little suckers to the lab? What if your treatment doesn’t work and you need any medication? Now you have no clue what was in your feet and no idea what treatment to use. I know U.S. doctors know how to waste money on unnecessary tests, but this one, I’d expect a doctor to do.

      2. To be honest, it didn’t even occur to me to ask to have it tested. I had not expected anything to be in there and I was just quite shocked and wondering how I possibly managed to get 5 little things in my leg in the first place. Then of course, I was joking with the doctor about being such a klutz and these type of things always happening to me. For your information, she didn’t laugh. But I laughed enough for both of us. Which wasn’t embarrassing at all… 😀

  3. Weird! It would have been interesting to have had them analysed to find out exactly what they were and why they should have had such a bad affect on you. What if it happens again? Straight to the doc you go . . . get better soon.

  4. Damn it, and I thought you were going to blog about your special weekend to yourself! Still no word on how wonderful it was, and now you’re getting hurt. Gosh, I hope your feet get back to normal very soon and I’d advise you to stay away from your garden, unless you were some super tight stockings and shoes, with no way for anything to enter your skin!

    1. I’m sorry. It’s all queuing up with the editor. She’s a woman who has spread herself so thinly over several projects that she looks like overstretched gum. It’s on her list. I swear to you. 😉

      But a quick preview, just for you: I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I didn’t sleep much and was quite busy as I started ‘The book’ project. Since then I am often seen reading through bits of paper and highlighting potential stories (my stories often come from one sentence, so just imagine looking for a needle in a haystack) in the strangest of places. I am also often seen dropping and picking up those said bits of paper with remarkable regularity.

      Staying away from the garden is not going to work though – one of those projects has been fixing up my garden, I was so inspired by you, Pseu and Piglet in Portugal.So now I have a proper (really a proper garden to work in, I’m quite excited about it).

      I did tell the nurse who was re-bandaging my foot yesterday, that the only way to protect me is to wrap me up in cotton wool. – Because I’m not safe in the house either. I burn myself, fall both up and down the stairs, cut myself, walk into walls, tables, cupboards. Trip over children, toys, plant pots.

      This post really is appropriately named!!

      1. I hear you about the garden and I think it’s a great project, but you really need to protect yourself, to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. It’s very counter-productive! I consider myself a klutz but you’ll beat me every time and I don’t mind at all!

      2. It is counter productive isn’t it? I think I might be getting addicted though. I got out of the house (at last) today. And I bought another plant. Shhh! Don’t tell my husband.

        I hate to think of anyone being a worse klutz than me. They’d have to be in a right state!!

    1. Thank you so much Vanessa. I’m glad you enjoyed it. At the start of it I had peace and quiet, but the children then turned up and the level was maxed to loud and I was afraid as my mood changed, it might end up being ‘bitty’. So, I’m particularly pleased you liked it!

  5. To this day, it amazes me that you’ve made it to the ripe old of thirty-(cough cough) with nothing actually falling of or spontaneously combusting!

  6. Another one of life’s mysteries! So sorry! At my house, those sorts of events only seem to happen when things are going smoothly. It always worries me when the road ahead looks wide and clear. 😉 Hope you heal quickly.

    1. No, it didn’t hurt at the time and I still haven’t worked out what I did or what the little bits in my feet were!! Finally, I got my bandages off today and I look like a real girl again. Well, tinged with bright yellow (antiseptic)!!

  7. Sarah, you’re freaking me out. Foreign bodies in your feet. I’m shuddering all over. Did you spray a special feet perfume on your ankles or what?
    Girl, keep away from the outdoors!
    I’m so glad you went to see the doctor, they might have invaded your brain! 😉

    1. Me too!! The doctor I saw the next day said it could have been pretty dangerous.

      My mother always used to say I was an accident waiting to happen.

      My daughter seems to have the same genes – she fell outside two days ago and ended up with a thick lip, a wound on her face, 2 shoulder wounds, both arms very scraped and bruised and a bloody knee?!?

      1. We didn’t have cookies in that day, but I did pop squares of chocolate in her mouth and let them melt away the pain. Sugar is good for shock. 😉

        Thanks Mar!!

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