She should be fired…

It’s ridiculous!

We really need a new housekeeper around here.

The current one is constantly sidetracked by blogs and stories and challenges and taking the children to feed the ducks.

She doesn’t want to do homework. She keeps forgetting to load the dishwasher and the tabletop is now filling up. She’s given up on ironing completely unless the occasion specifies “wedding” or “christening”. And to be quite honest, the mountain in the washroom is taking its toll on the quantity of fresh underwear available.

She drinks more than her earned share of coffee and now has her eye on a pair of expensive shoes.

The gentleman of the house keeps calm, regardless of her blatant overuse of pizza as a healthy meal substitute. He even politely asks after the possible availability of matching socks in the near future.

She hangs her jacket over the chair despite walking past the coat rack on entering the house.

She locks the car three times then promptly abandons her keys. And then has the cheek to ask all household members to help her look for them. Before she taxis fetches carries drives off into the sunset.

She ‘forgets’ to mow the grass and when she’s reminded she complains about the lawnmower running away from her on that tiny bit of a hill.

She frequently knocks over random dustbins.

She can’t carve a chicken, even though she’s knocking loudly on the door of forty.

And she’s totally, bloody useless when it comes to taking out the bins.

But worst of all, she’s easily bribed into giving the children sweets.

All they have to do is say, “Would you like a Twix, mum?”


33 thoughts on “She should be fired…”

  1. You’re like me – you need a wife. The problem is you need a better wife than you or me, a kind of traditional cooking, ironing and dusting wife – I ironed everybody’s clothes once and then resented them wearing them so I figured it was a better idea if I never did that again – so mostly I didn’t and don’t.
    I sometimes get spam from women who offer to marry me (they think I’m a man – someone obviously told them how bad I am at housework) and I have often been tempted to ask them how they feel about housework if they are so anxious to come and marry me.
    So, unless you get a wife (and we might have to use exhumation to find the type we need) to hell with it. In the immortal words of Shirley Conran – ‘Life’s too short to stuff a mushroom.’

    1. I totally love your response, thank you.

      I understand your resentment completely. I’m the same when I clean well. Five people run behind me making a mess, and I become, let’s say, rather tetchy…

      Go Shirley!!!

    1. A two week vacation would be amazing. The last, one week vacation was revitalizing despite the housekeeper coming with us and having to cook, clean the apartment, do the washing…

      IDEA: Dear world, I will happily review all inclusive holidays for two weeks with or even WITHOUT family… 😉

  2. Your housekeeper “works” at my house, too. I have had a number of heart to hearts with her, and she always commits to do better. I think she highly distractible and would rather be doing other (fun) things. However, she is very likeable and does show up on occasion and since her pay rates are well below sub standard, we keep her on.

      1. no, but I heard the author talking about it. I think we are too set n our ways, but it sounded like a good ethos…

  3. When I was a Naval wife, Looking after two kids while my ex was at sea, I apologised to a (childless) visitor about the state of my home. She told me the children would remember things I did with/for them – but they’d never remember whether their pj’s were ironed. She was right!

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