I am a crap patient


HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been driven to watching daytime telly.

I’ve shoved the five-year-old off the sofa. Apparently she has an unnatural ability to bounce back to fitness. She has a spring in her step that cannot be ignored. She’s even offering to perform ballet for me.

I’ve wrapped my freezing, shivering body in a nightie. Trousers. A pullover. A cardigan and a blanket and I’m still bringing down the temperature in the room with my freaky impersonation of an icicle.

My sixteen year old argues: not. She tells me I’m pretty warm to the touch…

The only bearable programs on the telly are house buying/renovating programs. I don’t need the Tweenies. I have my own singing, dancing, story-telling, all-round loud Tweenie, thank you very much.

The couple on the telly are looking at a beautiful 7 bedroom country mansion. But it doesn’t, to quote the presenter, “…match up to their exacting standards…”

What the hell are the program schedulers thinking?

Who’s watching TV at this time? People who’ve for one reason or another lost their jobs. Sick, sniveling, feeling-sorry-for-themselves people, like me. And people who have just worked a night shift.

Are they going to be cheered up by rich, snotty nosed couples picking fault in gorgeous homes?

And why, in the freezing winter, am I being subjected to people cycling around in shorts on a bright summer’s day? Presenters, this does not make me feel any better!

And, while I have your attention, the reason I like I endure house programs is because I’m nosey. Please, I’m begging you, don’t show me a door with your camera, then refuse to open it. Really, I don’t care if it’s just a cupboard. I want to see inside!

26 thoughts on “I am a crap patient”

  1. Is that a mansion you’d give your half right foot and a part of your shoulder for? A glorious lovely English mansion, where watching it will cause drool to drip unnoticed down your chin?
    I KNOW! Those snotty people need a kick in their behind! Or give that glorious house to US.
    Cheer up, at least the programmers have your full attention, warming you up, so you can forget about your cold!
    Feel better soon, sweetie xx

  2. hmmm. Don’t you have indoor heating? It went down to 60F the other night and to 64F last night. Low enough to close almost all of the windows and wear a jacket. Lol. We don’t have indoor heating in Hawaii.

    Hubby loves to watch House Hunters on TV. Especially the Internationl edition. Can’t understand the appeal of those shows.

    1. LOL!! We do!! I just did a conversion and when I wrote this article it was a meagre 5F outside. I am starting to contemplate moving to Hawaii… Are there a lot of bugs?

  3. Hehehe, I hate daytime TV, but I can’t help watching house buying / renovating programs. I also want to know what’s behind every door.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    1. Phew, I’m glad it’s not just me. Are you also the type of person who presses random buttons to see what happens?😉

      I am feeling a lot better today. Still slightly feverish, but I’m getting there. Hooray! (I’ve even managed to mop the floor)

      1. Hahaha! I’ve never tried pressing random buttons to see what happens but now I HAVE to try it!😀

        I’m glad you’re feeling better – but surely the mopping could have waited?! Embrace the excuse of being too ill to do anything!

        (Yeah, I know if you don’t do it, it won’t get done. I know that feeling😉 lol)

      2. When we first moved to Germany I stood with my (new) husband at the checkout and noticed a button. I pressed it and out fired a packet of cigarettes. Hubby looked very surprised as I don’t smoke. I told him that I just wondered what the button did. We had to hand over the ciggies and say we didn’t want them to the not-so-impressed assistant.
        Since then he fondly calls me ‘a child’ because I always nosily check out everything!!

        The floor was soooo bad, it had been snowing and the kids had dragged snow and salt in and out of the house. Apparently no one noticed. How’s that possible, the floor was black and white instead of terracotta!! I’m not very house proud – thank goodness, I’d have had a breakdown by now the state the house was/is still in. But it got the better of me. Crunching underfoot each time I went to the loo!😉

  4. Personally, I tend to avoid day shows. If it’s not infomercials it’s another version of a show hosting “I can’t believe you slept with my sister!”. Yeah, I just read a good book when I really can’t make it to work lol😀

    1. No, I can’t cope with those shows either. I did think of the book idea, the problem was the five year old interrupting every three seconds.😉

      1. The good side to little kids is they can fetch you tissues when you’re sneezing/feeling sorry for yourself but they seem to like the sound of their own voices when you need a nap/want to read a good book/are on any important call.

        Once my not so little daughter called me while I was in consultation with a doctor on a long awaited and rather important appointment. I answered the first call seeing the word ‘Home’ and being concerned something might be wrong. She just called to tell me she was home. Can you picture it? I had to actually leave the office to hear her. I re-entered the room apologised for the disruption. Two minutes later she called again to ask if she could watch TV!! I told her not to keep calling me, I’m at the doctors for that all-important meeting and the conversation then went as follows:

        “Oh, yeah, so how’s that going?”
        “I don’t know, I have to keep leaving the meeting to talk to you!!”

        You have to love ’em!😉

  5. Sorry to hear you’re feeling under the weather. I can’t comment though on day time television. We haven’t had television in at least 5 years. If you can’t get it on Netflix we don’t watch it.

      1. I’d say we’re mostly happy with it. Happy enough to suggest you give it a try if it becomes available to you. They’ve been raising rates a lot lately, but I suppose that’s the same with any company. Lately we’ve been having some problems getting Netflix to communicate with our instant streaming device, a Roku box, but it normally works great when we hook the big screen TV up to our laptops. My favorite part is no commercials. We tried to watch Hulu, which is a little less expensive and has no DVD service, but Hulu has commercials so I don’t know if we’ll keep Hulu service.

        Hope you’re recovering! BTW, I nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award, I thought it might cheer you up, plus I’m genuinely glad to have discovered your blog.

      2. I’d never heard of it before, but I’ll definitely keep me eyes open for it. I tend to switch channels during the adverts, so Hulu probably wouldn’t be for me either.

        I am feeling a lot better. Thanks.

        Thank you so much for the award!!

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