Three in the bed (and the middle one said…)

I have spent the night trapped in-between two lovely men.

I am exhausted.

NO! Not like that!

I’m married.

One of them was my husband.

And the other my had-a-nightmare thus need-a-cuddle son.

I lay there. All night. Sandwiched in the middle.

Mostly awake.

Because I really, really, really, really needed to pee.

But couldn’t work out a way to remove the filling from the sandwich without waking up one of the slices.

I did attempt a slithering-in-a-snake-like-fashion-out-of-the-bottom-of-the-quilt manoeuvre. But any slight movement apparently initiated the exact same movement from my seemingly sleeping son.

If, say, you’d been a fly on the ceiling, I’m sure you could have mistaken us for synchronized bed-movers/shakers.

And any slight brush against my light sleeping husband and he’s awake in an instant. I know that from experience. I’ve even managed to wake him from my dreams at times. The slightest waving… OK slapping arm and he’s sitting bolt upright in bed snorting, “What?!?”

So I lay still and contemplated the effects on my kidneys.

And admired the power of my bladder after having had four children.

There’s something to be said for four Caesareans.

Though trampolining is still out of the question…

I digress.


Finally the youngest of us awoke. Refreshed.

And I have visited the Water Closet.

What really needs to happen now, is that I go back to bed and am intoxicated by that lovely thing called sleep on this beautiful (but cold?!?) October Sunday morning.

Good Morning! Goodnight!

31 Replies to “Three in the bed (and the middle one said…)”

  1. Was experiencing something sorta similar today/yesterday myself. Only I was trapped in a car on a rather long drive with nowhere to stop. Not fun. 🙂 I have also had 4 c sections as well.

  2. I was not like you, I never let a child get in bed with me. They have all grown up to become mostly well-adjusted adults. I don’t think they let their kids in bed with them either. One the other hand, my husband lets the dog sleep with him…on his pillow. I do not. Guess who has her own bedroom? Dianne

    1. LOL!!

      I only allow ill or very disturbed kids to sleep with me, to be honest. No doubt throughout the winter I’ll have a couple of sleepless nights with the littlest one and her breathlessness. Joy!!

  3. Ha…as a child I used to have nose bleeds and nightmares….and spent my share of time as one of those slices of bread…always appreciated what my mom went through. 🙂

    1. My son has both too!!

      Once I walked into the bathroom in the middle of the night (to actually relieve my bladder) and there he was, standing in the midst of what could only be described as a blood bath. I have never seen so much blood… In the bath, the toilet, in both sinks, all over the floor and somehow he’d managed to spray it up the wall. Bless him, he was trying to clean it up himself but only managed to spread it more around!!

  4. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I feel tired just reading your ordeal! And I love my boys but I wouldn’t lay there all night with a full bladder. Way too uncomfortable! In your case, I would have gone pee and then gone to sleep in your son’s bed.

    1. You are full of great ideas!! Why didn’t I think of that? Next time!!

      Actually, I cannot remember the last time he slept in our bed. If it happens it’s normally the little one (she gets so stuffed up in the night sometimes and can barely breath). She has a tiny bed – one of those ones that takes up little space because it used to be a cot. I made the mistake of sitting on it once, and it broke in two. Luckily my husband is a fixer so he had it back together in a jiffy. But the little one has me well-warned not to even lean on her bed. I’m officially known as the bed breaker… Although that should be my husband and since I’ve known him, he’s destroyed several beds!!

      1. We’ve broken beds and sofas, so I understand. Well, if it happens next time you’ll have to find a quiet and alone place to sleep. Sometimes the sofa will work just fine. Better than not getting any sleep!

  5. Love this and the memories of ‘hot’ little bodies wanting to stay but when the temperature got too high I would lead them back to bed and tuck them in. We also had sleep walkers (got it from me, I’m afraid) and their father just plain couldn’t do being stared at with eyes that weren’t really awake. No sense of adventure, that one. Maybe that is why we aren’t married anymore.Oh, well, I’m glad you got relief.

    1. I’m glad too! Thanks.

      My brother used to sleep walk. Especially when he needed to go to the loo… Ended up in the whole family springing out of bed/off the sofa whenever they heard him as he would ‘deposit’ on the first thing he touched against. Once we just caught him in time as he lowered his pj bottoms in front of an open, but fully packed suitcase lying ready for the next days holiday.

  6. I really admire your bladder control! Your hubby sounds like mine. If I hear a noise in the night I have to put my hand over his mouth to keep him quiet so I can tell hime to be quiet as I thought I heard a noise.
    (BTW, have not forgotten the 101/1001 have thought of loads of things but just deciding where to post it. Debating whether to start another blog so I can write about more non Portugal related issues.)

    1. Luckily I wasn’t bouncing/moving in any way or all control would have been lost!!

      It’s hard when they’re such light sleepers, isn’t it? Though mine is a typical man and nods off again in a jiffy. (And I’m a typical woman and lie there for HOURS.)

      We’re excited about you joining wherever you decide. The good thing with your PiP page is you are already known there and already have a lot of support… My blog has diversified a lot too!

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