Never sure about alternative methods, however giving it a go…

Did I tell you I went to see a mesologist? No? Probably not. (Actually I’m not sure that’s the correct English word, but I can’t find a translation).

Few people reading this, will have the faintest idea what a mesologist is. I had no idea until I rolled up there. Actually, I slid there. In the snow. But I digress. (Again).

A friend recommended the therapist to me because like me, her luck (and patience) was being tested by conventional medicine.

The basic idea of mesology (as far as I can fathom) is that the therapist looks at the whole of you. Not only at all of the symptoms you experience. But they ask about all of your life experiences too, especially the negative ones. Each childhood illness you have suffered. Whether you wore a brace. If you have had an operation. About bereavement, divorce and other traumas. Where you’ve been on holiday. What medicines you ingest. Which teeth have been extracted. And so on and so forth.

Then they ‘measure’ different levels in your body, including organ function, vitamin and mineral levels and toxins in your system.

The assessment thus begins with a four-page-questionnaire, continues with a detailed interview and culminates in testing with some kind of electric acupuncture measuring machine.

My initial assessment took 90 minutes. And the result?

Apart from lacking in certain minerals, and having too much of certain toxins in my body, the very nice therapist also informed me that I had several severe food intolerances.


I cannot express to you how much I love food. Food is one of the most brilliant things in my life. After my family, writing and presents, obviously. Food is the main reason for clambering out of bed in the morning. Apart from the hunger factor. I love food. I love cooking it. Buying it. Eating it. Experimenting with it. Watching it on the telly. Trying new types of it. Eating it in restaurants.

You could even describe me as somewhat obsessed with it.

I left the mesologist with a sad face and a tragic piece of paper declaring severe lactose intolerance. Even severe-er nut intolerance. No wholemeal products. No milk. No butter. No buttermilk. No nuts. No oats. No yoghurt. No goats products. And to be careful with fruit.

On the bright side the paper also stated that I can eat sheep products and can cope well with oil.

And she did say I could eat chocolate in very small doses!?!

So, I spent the afternoon in a local supermarket buying up all possible lactose free alternatives and emptying all of the sheep cheeses into my trolley.


After his hard days work my husband returned home. Saw my distressed face and proceeded to hit another supermarket in the vicinity for all sheep and lactose free products.

If reader, you work in the stock market, that’s the reason ‘nöm L-free co.’s’ shares rose sharply three weeks ago. It’s also the reason farmers in Germany have started whipping sheep (in a bid to make them produce more milk).

After a week of, I believe, no lactose ingestion, I headed to a lovely local restaurant with my daughter and had the most delicious meal. I then headed home and regurgitated the said meal in a talented simultaneous ‘coming out of both ends’ fashion.  To top that, I added a bit of red colour. OK blood.

So, back to the conventional doctor again who has, in his wisdom, decided, that the inside of me should be photographed and added to his collection.

On Friday.

As of yesterday, I can no longer eat any seeded bread, any seeded fruit, and er… just looking at the list that includes cucumber, and er… I just ate that for lunch. Today. Shit!

Moving swiftly on.

And as of tomorrow, I can no longer eat peppers, spinach, mushrooms, or any type of salad.

So, in planning my rest of the weeks menu I seem to have only been left with the options of oil and chocolate. Though the latter in small amounts.

Tomorrow morning then, I’ll take a sharp knife and start hacking up that 1kg bar of chocolate (the one hiding presently in the cupboard) into small bits.

Then spend the remainder of the day popping a square in my mouth every few minutes, then washing it down with a slug of olive oil.

Hey, perhaps the oil will help the cucumber seeds ‘slip out’ quickly during the necessary laxative fuelled flush that will take place on Thursday. (And I can hide my little error?)


18 thoughts on “Never sure about alternative methods, however giving it a go…”

  1. Mesology???? I do try very hard to be open minded about these things, but this woman sounds like a complete quack to me. I know several people who have gone to various ‘practioners’, usually all calling themselves by various different -‘ologies’ and claiming to be much more accurate than conventional medicine, and without fail, every single of one of them will tell you that you have dreadful food intolerances, particularly to wheat, dairy, nuts, lots of fruits and vegetables and put you on some utterly ridiculous diet sheet.

    I don’t know of anyone who has actually been made any better by these theories. They might certainly feel a bit healthier if it encourages them to change their eating, but I am deeply deeply suspicious of these things. Conventional medicine can be a complete pain in the arse, but I have to be boring maybe and say I would far rather put my trust in that rather than something that no-one even knows what it is!!!!

    I’m not saying that all complimentary/alternative therapies are complete hokum, but I really do wonder where some of these ‘-ologies’ get their information and evidence from that you are intolerant of all these things that you have usually been eating for years quite happily and with little or no ill effects. God, I’m getting very middle aged and judgemental!!!!

  2. Great comment Lynne. I went with the attitude ‘I’ll try it out’. My friend swears by this therapist and I had reached the stage of being really fed up of having stomach pain almost every day for the last 18 months. My specialist had all but dismissed me, and given me medicines that I mostly had to pay for as the health insurance refused to pay. And those meds didn’t help at all any way.

    Truth be told I am pretty sceptical, especially as I had to cut off my arm and sell it in order to pay for the therapy.
    There is a glimmer of hope in the distance. My specialist has agreed now to give me a scientific lactose intolerance test. I’ll take it in April. Then I’ll know for sure if she’s for real or not. And if she’s not I get to keep my left leg. (Because I won’t have to pay for another session).

  3. Thanks Sarah, I was a bit worried that maybe I had ‘come on too strong’ as it were!!

    I can understand why folk go to these therapists if they seem to be getting nowhere via the conventional route. That’s horrible you’ve had to endure stomach pains for such a long time and where it’s cost you such a lot of money. It is incredibly frustrating these days when medicine seems to be making all kinds of leaps and bounds, and yet there still seems to be so much we still don’t know, fully understand, and/or can’t cure. I would like to think that good doctors are as frustrated as their patients by these limits to knowledge, and also the fact there is never enough money around either to properly fund the right drugs/treatments/practices or research. Wherever you go in the West with our market driven, capitalist and individualistic economies & societies, it’s all about saving money. People are not truly seen as an ‘investment’ in themselves. We are dubbed ‘service users’ and ‘consumers’. We are just there to use and consume things to make money for the few.

    Still, some of these therapy types are also cashing in on our medical frustrations, only too eager to promise that by paying shedloads of cash they can suddenly and mysteriously ‘cure’ you where all other things have failed. If they were that good, then everyone would see them, we’d all be fine and there would be no need for scientific medicine at all……..but nobody is in any hurry to ditch their doctor (unless of course they do happen to be utterly dreadful and need to be struck off).

    1. The things I can say in her favour is she gave me time. Although I had to pay for that myself. Also I really did like the way she looked at the whole me and my whole life story. And she’s the very first ‘medical person’ who said to me, you can’t go on like this. (Then I thanked her and I almost cried).

      But I still feel uneasy. It’s not a route I’ve really tried. It takes me out of my comfort zone, because I don’t understand it. And despite my generally optimistic nature, I feel somewhat sceptical.

      However, I actually do think the meal that I ate in the restaurant contained butter or milk. And I was so sick within minutes of eating it. Although I had felt perfectly fine before. No one else got sick, so I don’t think it was a bug.

      So despite my reservations, I have not dared to eat lactose again. I’m really pleased that my specialist has now offered me this test. It’s well documented on the internet and I will believe whatever results it gives. My specialist by the way does not think my symptoms are signs of lactose intolerance.
      So if the test shows the therapist to be correct, then I think I would be quite open to her other suggestions. If not, I’ll never go back and avoid that route in the future.

      Will let you know!

  4. I feel so bad for you. My husband has CFS/ME and we’ve tried everything except alternative medicine – amazing how expensive it is, considering how natural it’s supposed to be. The one thing he refuses to try is a change of diet. He says he’s given up everything else he loves (exercise, smoking, booze) and eats healthily, so he refuses to try cutting out white bread, etc.

    I believe the therapy you tried may have a small validity, in that what has happened in our lifetime must have some effect on our health. My husband has had sports injuries, bike injuries, malaria, septicaemia (twice), various illnesses and diseases, major stress at certain periods, but particularly before he became ill. I’ve observed that those with the severest form of CFS/ME had the most battered minds and bodies prior to becoming ill.

    I quite understand you clutching at straws; I wish I could afford a few straws myself. I would install a hot tub for his aches and pains and send him to an acupuncturist. It couldn’t hurt.

    The point for you is, you know your body is not right and you won’t rest until you find out why. Who can blame you?

    I wish you the greatest blessing I know: good health.

    1. Thank you Tilly.

      The German health system is so very different to the British one. Acupuncture is highly rated and even paid for by the health insurance which is a very good sign that it works.
      I do believe that some things work for some people and for others not. Whether it’s therapies or medicines. And I do think therefore you have to find what works for you.

      And I think you’re absolutely right that what happens in our life must have a later effect on our health. I think that fact convinced me of this therapist to some degree. You also need to wait for a long time for an appointment with her. She’s quite sought after.

      But to be honest the machine thing freaked me out. I couldn’t see a logical explanation as to how it could work. And if it did work, then why does our health insurance not cover the cost?

      On the other hand there is no real reasoning with the health insurance. The test I’m going to do to check my tolerance of lactose takes 2.5 hours. They’ll pay for that, but a simple blood test which is very reliable would cost ME EUR 100!!!

      Thank you for your well wishes Tilly.

      I hope that somehow, your husband can be helped too.

  5. Poor you. I feel for you with no bread either for the (very small squares of) chocolate nor for the olive oil… what a nightmare. Still, the main thing is to keep trying to find out what’s wrong. I have a friend who loves food too and is lactose intolerant. Her body tells her pretty quickly if her friends have cheated/forgotten. But she still manages to eat well and there are lots of good sheep and goat cheeses. The nut thing is a pain. But no doubt you’ll work out whether you’ve got that too in due course. ‘Courage’ Sarah.

    1. You know. if my health problems were down to lactose as the therapist says, then once I had got my head around it, it would be no bad thing at all. For the simple reason that not eating the products would make me feel well.

      To be honest I knew already about peanuts because, I get a funny throat each time I eat them. And it shows in those allergy pin prick tests at the doctors.

      Once in a restaurant I ate a salad and I knew right away that there was peanut in some form in it. The waitress asked the chef and discovered they’d put peanut oil in the dressing. The waitress then exclaimed to me that it was only “a little” as I told her to take the salad away. Luckily my allergy is only a mild one, so I didn’t keel over and die on the premises!

      This doesn’t convince me of mesology though. I had already highlighted my known peanut allergy in the questionnaire. She just added other nuts too.

  6. Thank you for visiting my blog, Sarsm.

    I’m sorry for your pain – in the tum and the pocket. A friend of mine was having horrendous hot flushes for more than 10 years, which miraculously disappeared on giving up lactose. Another has found, via conventional medicine, – at nearly 70 – that she is coeliac (intolerant of gluten in wheat etc). Neither of them consulted alternative therapists, but simply used common sense and a bit of research. My OH has a blocked carotid artery from cholesterol and has given up cheese. As he is fond of sheep and goat cheeses, it may be that he could eat those.

    Common sense can do wonders – my hot flush friend has been on an extreme protein only diet to lose weight before her daughter’s wedding. The excess of red meat and no doubt lack of eg veg, has given her gout. The way to lose weight is to eat SMALLER PORTIONS! And now I’ll come down from my soapb ox!

    1. Or run around like a headless chicken as I have done all day today. Surely I must have lost a kilo today!!!
      Your blog is fab. I love your poetry :-).

    1. I tried her diet suggestions out for two months but I didn’t feel any different. In the end I went back to my interist and asked him for a proper, scientific lactose intolerance test. He gave me one and it turned out that I didn’t react to lactose AT ALL. I didn’t return the mesologist after that. Any faith I’d attempted to muster was well and truly sqashed!

      1. Did you have the lactose intol test while you were ‘off’ lactose then?

        If you are gluten intolerant (with coeliacs diesase) it is important to be in a gluten rich diet prior to the test so that the anti-bodies can be detected. Don’t know if that’s true of lactose intolerance testing.

      2. I’ve looked into it and I don’t think so. Another test, according to today’s research is to fast from dairy products (for a day or so) and then drink a glass of milk.

        Prior to my hydrogen test I didn’t take any lactose for more than 6 weeks. I did the test – no reaction and then I came home and stuffed myself with milk and cheese and I felt fine. The mesologist had said I would have a severe reaction if I took any dairy after taking a break from it. but NOTHING happened.

        So I think it was just mumbo jumbo.

  7. Oh I’m sorry about that. I just went and booked an appointment yesterday on the recommendation of my music teacher. I’ve tried everything with conventional medicine but I’m just too sensitive to the medication, the last lot of thyroid meds left me wanting to commit murder. Not a nice place to be. If you like I can let you know how it goes. I have an appointment in three weeks and by that time the other medication should’ve left my body.
    Greetings from a fellow Brit in the Netherlands.

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